


Anime Grope-Fall: Long Form

by Oberwald



Category: Campaign (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Rope Bondage, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 15:57:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15440556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oberwald/pseuds/Oberwald
Summary: Feelings! Angst! Prostitution! Domination! Transgender issues! Horrifyingly disparate chapter lengths!No one asked for this, but I like to imagine there might be half of one person out there in the universe who might like it.==I'm a cisgender woman and not a sex worker, but I hope I treated all these issues respectively. Please let me know if I did not.





	1. A Togorian, or something

Blasa looked at Sneak, who was tied up in a chair in front of her. His hands were behind his back, in binders. He wasn’t crying yet. It was _possible_ he wouldn’t cry, but it wasn’t likely. He usually did on BHIKKE. Stress, probably. She wiggled her toes on the floor beneath her feet, rocking back and forth on it. The carpet was pretty plush, she could probably do the chair-tip thing.        

“How are we doing, Sneak?” Blasa asked him, slipping into her very tall stiletto heels and walking towards him.

“Good,” he murmured. “Fine.”

“Oh, that’s not good, is it,” she whispered in his ear, grabbing a fistful of his hair in one hand and pulling hard. “I’m not sure you should feel good right now. Because I’m pretty positive I just vaped you and I’m pretty sure you were thinking of your best friend Tubaik the whole time.”

She felt Sneak exhale slowly.

Blasa crouched down in front of Sneak now and spit in his face. Then she slapped him, hard.

“You’re disgusting, you know,” she whispered at him. “A ridiculous clone with a crush,” she continued, her voice dripping with derision. And then she slapped him again. “You think he would ever want you? Sleazy, scummy, chain-smoking Sneak?”

She slapped him a third time, this time as hard as she could. Sneak’s head whipped around.

“You pathetic _little_ disposable clone,” she sneered at him, and then kicked the chair over, Sneak tumbling alongside with it. She kicked him in the stomach.

“Tubaik won’t ever, ever want you, you know. He would laugh in your kriffing face if you told him….” Blasa heard Sneak thickly gasp for breaths a few times. He would start crying soon. _All right_ , she told herself. We’re almost there, _let’s wrap phase two up_.

 She grabbed the chair, an exhaled. What had the doctor said? Lift with the knees, no sudden movements... Then, acting like she was going to set back up again, but instead just tipped it over the other way, Sneak landing on his other side. She decided not to kick him again, although Sneak could probably take it. He was strong.

“If Tubaik knew you wanted him he’d leave you and take the whole kriffing business with him. You are so, so disgusting…”

Sneak burst into tears.

All right. Phase two almost done.

Blasa kicked off her shoes and started to set a timer on her datapad and then hesitated. Usually she could leave Sneak crying and bound for anywhere between five and six minutes. But she had knocked him down twice today, and kicked him pretty hard… the carpet was pretty thick, though, he wouldn’t like it if he thought she was going easy on him… She set the timer for four minutes, telling herself that if Sneak stopped crying after three she’d get him.

Endeavoring to be as quiet as possible, she poured some fruit juice into a tall glass and set it on the bedside table. She sliced a bagel and slathered some margarine on it. She would wager ten thousand credits it would be a pain in the ass to get him to eat much, though. He didn’t eat much on BHIKKE. She laid out some painkillers on a napkin next to the plate. Tissues were already there. She glanced at the timer. A minute left, and Sneak was still crying. It even sounded like he was crying _harder_ now. No chance of ending early, then. She pulled out some of his clothes and laid them out on the chair. He had a panel later today.

She turned the timer off one second before it was set to go off and sighed, looking at Sneak. Still crying.

She knocked adhesive panel she had affixed to the wall three times, and the ambient light in the room changed from slightly-greenish light to a peachy, pinker one.

"Light’s changed, Sneak,” she said brightly, “We’re done.” She leaned down and opened the binders and untied the rope. She helped Sneak up, who was wimpering. He limped a bit, she noticed. “Your leg ok?”

Sneak nodded and collapsed on the bed. Blasa climbed up after him and sat near his head and started gently stroking Sneak’s hair.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” she murmured as Sneak sniffed. She handed him a tissue and he blew into it. He handed it back to her when he was done and as gross as it was, she took it – it was a hazard of the job – and Sneak laid back down, hiccupping slightly.

“All right,” she said soothingly, standing up to dispose of the tissue and wash her hands quickly in the little sink in the room. She sat back down on the bed and patted Sneak’s shoulder. “Want to be under the covers?”

Sneak nodded, wiping his eyes. She helped Sneak get under the covers and slipped under them herself. She grabbed the juice and the painkillers.

“Want some juice? Some painkillers?”

Sneak nodded again, and took the pills and gulped down the juice.

“What about some food? I have a bagel.”

“I don’t really feel like eating,” Sneak mumbled, laying back down on his pillow.

Blasa sighed internally. Sneak could be tricky. She knew it was important for him to feel in-control after what he had started calling “The Rough.” She also knew from years of research and practice that most people could use some carbohydrates and fat after having sex and being beaten up in quick succession.

She laid down next to Sneak and started gently playing with his hair again.

“Tubaik cares about you, you know,” she said after a few minutes. “You’re a good friend to him. An important part of his life.”

 Sneak didn’t open his eyes but grimaced slightly.

“You’re just saying that because I’m paying you to.”

“No, I’m saying it because it’s true,” Blasa said, starting to wipe away some of his tears. “You know it too. I wouldn’t lie to you about that, Sneak.”

“I’m doing the right thing, aren’t I?” Sneak asked. “Not telling him?”

This was a test, Blasa knew. He pulled this sort of thing sometimes. He had explicitly told her he never wanted to talk about the real possibility of him telling Tubaik he loved him during their sessions – either during “The Rough” or now. But he also didn’t want her to lie to him. It wasn’t really fair, these mind games he put her in. He must know that. He was employing her, and he was a dangerous man. On the other hand, he did pay very, very well.

“I’m not good at knowing what’s right or wrong,” Blasa said, shrugging.

“He met some woman,” Sneak said, ignoring her. “He seems to think she might be ‘The One.’”

“I thought he met women he liked frequently,” Blasa said, eyeing the bagel and wondering when the best time would be to start pushing the carbohydrates would be.

“Oh, he _likes_ beautiful women he meets all the time. But he gets into this weird anxious space about a woman being The One only sometimes.” Sneak sighed. “One of these times, he’s going to be right.”

Blasa sighed and continued stroking Sneak’s hair.

“It’s hard,” she said after a moment. “To see someone you love with someone else.”

“Yeah? How’s your husband?”

“Hah-hah,” Blasa said, smiling and grabbing the plate with the bagel on it. “He’s fine, thank you very much. Listen, I think you’ll feel a lot better if you just have a couple bites of this bagel – want to try?”

A few minutes later Sneak was sitting up and taking extremely large bites of the bagel. Ten minutes later he was half-dressed and seemed much more put-together. He had finally let Blasa check his leg – which was fine, just a little bruised – and was irritably trying to get the Space-Keurig to dispense some coffee. He had already given her his credit card, and she had run it through the chip reader on her datapad. She gathered up her clothes and her supplies in a very large carrying case, and took the lighted plate from the wall. Disconnecting it from the wall caused the hotel room to be once again bathed in blank, white light.

She sighed. Now was the hard part. It was too bad it had to be today, when Sneak was already keyed-up about this ridiculous meetup or whatever it was Tubaik had.

\--

“Sneak?”

Sneak looked up from the Space-Kuerig machine at Blasa, who was all dressed and packed up and looking at him nervously. He glanced at her card reader – his payment had gone through. Usually she just left at this point. He frowned slightly.

“Something wrong?” Sneak asked lightly, worrying, as he always low-key did, that she would try to blackmail him. Sneak was very fond of Blasa. He’d been screwing her for years. He would hate to have to kill her.

“Can I discuss something with you?” she asked, tentatively sitting on the edge of the bed. She smiled at him slightly.

“Yes,” Sneak said simply, sighing slightly. Maybe introducing the whole Tubaik thing had been a mistake. It was really the only thing she _could_ blackmail him with, realistically…

“I’m pregnant,” she said.

Sneak stared at her.

“It’s my husband’s,” Blasa said quickly. “We’re sure. We had to go to fertility doctors, I’m not very fertile…”

“That must be convenient,” Sneak said dryly. “In your line of work.”

“Hah hah. Well, it’s been a few months now…”

“Really?” Sneak was surprised. He hadn’t noticed. Then again, he never had his eyes open too much when he was with Blasa, not recently…

“Yes. And it’s a bit high-risk.”

“High-risk?”

“My doctor thinks it’s best I stop seeing so many clients...”

“Oh,” Sneak said. He paused. “Can you… still, with your husband?”

Blasa looked taken aback at that question. She blinked, and then smiled.

“Sure,” she said, “but we’re pretty gentle with each other. I can still see some clients, but my doctor doesn’t want me travelling so much and seeing clients who want… you know, The Rough.”

“Oh,” Sneak said, his heart sinking. “You can’t see me anymore?”

“No. Not until the baby comes, and I’ll probably need some months to recover. That’s about a year, at least.”

“Oh. Of course,” Sneak said, swallowing hard. He would miss her. “Uh… Take… take another three thousand credits. For the baby’s… diapers or something.”

“Thank you,” Blasa said, grinning and running the card through her datapad card reader again. “You’re a really good client, Sneak. I’ll miss you a lot. I’ve really liked getting to know you. And working with you has made me a lot better at what I do…” She handed his credit card back to him and folded her hands in her lap. “Now. Do you want me to help find you someone else?”

“Oh…” Sneak said, hesitating.

“I can even tell them about the Tubaik stuff…” Blasa continued. “Trustworthy people. They wouldn’t tell anyone.”

 _Damn this Tubaik stuff,_ Sneak thought, closing his eyes. It was too bad he liked it so much. It had started a few years ago. He and Tubaik had just gotten out of a scrape wish the Du’Rax Family. It had been a weird job. A hit job, no need to bring anyone – or any corpses – anywhere. And fee had been small enough that they didn’t want to split the pay with anyone else, and it had seemed relatively easy. So Tubaik and him had set off alone, thinking they could finish it quickly. And they had – mostly. One of the Du’Rax daughters had some ridiculous boyfriend in town, and he had been a bit of a fighter. After finally killing him, Sneak had realized he was bleeding from several shrapnel wounds on his upper inner thigh. They weren’t particularly deep, but they were bleeding heavily. The realization had come only a few miliseconds before dropping on the floor of the mansion. He hadn’t quite passed out, but he was woozy.

Tubaik had rushed over to him and started, well, _licking_ his wounds. He had done this and then taken off his jacket and held it against the wounds and carried him to their ship. Sneak knew it was basically instinctual – he had seen Tubaik lick his own shallow wounds often enough – and he knew Tubaik’s saliva had some kind of antibacterial property to it – but still. He had been light-headed, in a lot of pain, and…seeing Tubaik’s head in between his legs and his tongue _lapping_ at him so furiously and so intently…

Sneak had gasped, groaned, and moaned Tubaik’s name. _I’m going to die,_ he had thought to himself, _and he’s never going to know how much I care about him…_ He had almost told him, but suddenly Tubaik was hushing him, telling him everything would be all right, giving him a sedative shot, and Sneak had passed out.

And the next morning, with a bandage wrapped around his leg, it had seemed much less important to make a grand declaration of love to Tubaik. It had felt foolish. Dangerous. They had a good thing going, him and Tubaik. Luckily, Tubaik had thought his moans and groans were just due to pain and blood loss and not to the frenzied and confused shudderings of desire that they also were.

But he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He had always deeply cared for Tubaik, and had regularly fantasized about Tubaik, but ever since then, something had changed. His feelings and his desires had reached a certain level, and he couldn’t calm them down. It was like stepping off a cliff and expecting to be able to simply step back up. You couldn't; you were just plummeting.

And so, he had cried out Tubaik’s name a month later with Blasa. She had taken it completely in stride. She was good like that, she could read people. _Oh, do you like him, Sneak? How do you think Tubaik would lick you?_ she had asked him, teasing him, the next time she saw him, _with that long tongue of his?_ and she had started licking him with longer, sloppier licks. She had even licked his face. Sneak started paying her double after that. A few months after that, when Sneak had asked for something rougher, she had slapped him and instead of just whispering into his ear that _he was a pathetic clone, a genetic slave, a tool, a thing_ (which was pretty par for the course when Sneak was in the mood) she had followed it up with _and you’re too chickenshit to even tell Tubaik you want to screw him, isn’t that right?_

Sneak’s breath was taken away. He had panted, staring at her, wide eyed.

“Too much?” she had asked him gently, loosening her grip on him. “Too mean? Need a break?”

“Keep… going…” Sneak had grunted when he had finally had enough air in his lungs to continue.

“I thought you would like that,” she had whispered, grinning evilly, “you pathetic little clone,” while licking his neck.

And that had been that. Sneak had started paying her triple that night. It was unspoken that part of the money was hush money – not to mention to _anyone,_ specifically Tubaik – about these affectations. And now… here they were. Blasa beating him up tied to a chair while telling him he wasn’t good enough for Tubaik.

“And then they could start seeing you already knowing about all that. So you wouldn’t have to wait months before telling them.”

“I never _told_ you,” Sneak muttered. “It just kind of happened.”

“You did,” Blasa sighed, leaning forward. “I don’t think you would have gotten relaxed with someone else enough to say his name that day. I know you see other hookers sometimes. You haven’t told _them_ , have you?”

Sneak didn’t say anything.

“You could also… I mean, I know you see men sometimes, but… I could find you a man who was someone a bit more like Tubaik. A Togorian or something.”

“No,” Sneak said immediately. “Too risky. Someone might see. They might… you know. Assume.”

Blasa gave him a little smile and shrugged.

“I understand,” she said. “But a nice human or a Twi’lek? Man or woman, any preference?”

Sneak sighed. Losing Blasa would be so… so… irritating. Painful, almost. She was really… kind, in an odd way.

“What’s in it for you?”

“Whomever I find for you will have to pay me a finder’s fee. Clients like you don’t grow on trees,” Blasa said. Oh, Sneak thought. That made sense.

“Someone… well… someone good at reading people. Like you,” Sneak had said finally.

“I have a cousin in the business who is highly rated for that sort of thing,” Blasa said, pulling up a hologram of a shirtless blond human man. “He’s good at being a switch, like me. See? He even looks a bit like me. I’d like to keep you in the family.”

“Sure, tell my secretary to set it up,” Sneak shrugged, putting on his jacket. It was getting late. “Sometime after BHIKKE. We’re busy this year.”

“I will,” Blasa said, grinning at him. “I need to get her to send you an invitation to the baby shower. It’s traditional to send a gift even if you can’t go in person.”

Sneak snorted.

“Oh, is it? Well… send me a picture when the thing’s born, I guess?”

“I will,” Blasa said, giving him a little peck on the cheek and, to Sneak’s surprise, hugging him tightly. Hesitating for a moment, he hugged back, burying his head into her neck.

Blasa broke away from him, blinking.

“See you in a year or so,” she said brightly, “have a really good year, Sneak.” Blasa quickly wiped under her eyes, composed herself, and sauntered out of the door.

Leaving the hotel room, she almost ran into Tubaik, who was standing awkwardly in the doorway.

Sneak’s stomach always churned when Blasa was near Tubaik. He knew she wouldn’t, but he was always a bit irrationally afraid she would burst out with “Sneak’s in love with you, Tubaik” or “Did you know that Sneak sometimes likes me to peg him and pretend I’m you?”

“Hello there, Tubaik,” Blasa had said, waving a hand at him and easily sauntering away.

“Blasa,” Tubaik said stiffly, reddening slightly and nodding at her. He turned towards Sneak, but didn’t quite meet his eye. “It’s almost time for the sound checks for our panel, Sneak…”

“I’m coming,” Sneak said, grabbing his blaster and following Tubaik down the long hallway of the hotel.


	2. She hadn't been great.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even more angst! 
> 
> Other fans of Campaign tell me they use "vape" for "fuck" as in "I fucked someone last night."
> 
> Yeah, I think it looks a little weird written out, too.

“How was Blasa? Strange for her to come in the middle of the day like this, isn’t it?” Tubaik asked after a few seconds of silence in the elevator. He always felt strange after seeing Blasa. She was so beautiful. And it seemed like she had started to give him little sideways smiles a few months ago. He didn’t know what that was about. He tried to avoid her.

“I pay her plenty. She’s has times when she’s on-call for me,” Sneak said. “Well—she _did_ have times she was on-call, I guess.” He fiddled with a cigarette, lighting it directly under the Thank You For Not Smoking sign in the elevator.

“Oh?” Tubaik asked, perking up a bit. Maybe Sneak would lay off the hookers for a while… That would be a relief… “You’re not going to see her for a while?”

Sneak grunted.

“She’s pregnant. Needs to stop seeing so many clients…stop traveling so much,” Sneak said, inhaling deeply on his cigarette.

“She’s… pregnant?”

“It’s her husband’s. They’re sure, somehow.”

“She has a _husband_?” Tubaik asked incredulously. He didn’t think hookers had _husbands._ They were… well, they were _prostitutes._

 “Yes,” Sneak said. “Hinri. I met him once. He came to pick her up once. He’s human. Short.”

“He _knows_?”

Sneak smirked at him. Tubaik felt foolish.

“Yeah, he knows,” Sneak said. “She’s setting me up with someone new. Her cousin.”

“Well,” Tubaik said after a moment’s pause, trying to ignore the feeling of his stomach sinking. Another Blasa. “I hope you like her as much as you liked Blasa.”

“Eh, I probably won’t,” Sneak said, resting his head back on the wall of the elevator. “It’s a man, anyway.”

“A man? What do you mean, ‘a _man_ ’?”

“I see men sometimes.”

“I didn’t know that…”

“How’s that? You knew I fooled around with other clones when I was in the army…”

“But those are _clones,_ you said it was more like… like… masturbating than anything else…”

 “Well, that’s true. OK, but you saw me leaving that party with one two weeks ago – the green Twi’lek…”

“He was a… a _prostitute_?” Tubaik cried, blushing even more furiously now.

“Yeah? So?”

“I thought he was telling you about a bounty!” Tubaik cried, his heart pounding. “You had _sex_ with him in that broom closet?! Oh my goodness. I didn’t… I didn’t know you liked… well, _men_!”

“Look, is it a problem?” Sneak asked sharply. Tubaik stared. Sneak looked… well, affronted. Wary.

“No, no,” Tubaik said sullenly. “I just would’ve liked to _know_ …”

“I don’t tell you everything about my sex life, Tubaik…”

“Well, well, it’s not that I _want_ you to, don’t be ridiculous--” Tubaik sputtered, uncomfortably aware of how much he was blushing.

“I don’t know what we’re talking about then,” Sneak had said, striding out of the elevator as soon as the doors opened.

Tubaik had trouble concentrating throughout the panel. That didn’t matter that much – Sneak had most of the speech memorized. He was good at that sort of thing.

_Men._ Sneak saw _men_ sometimes.

He wondered what he did with them.

Butt-stuff, right? That’s what men did with one another. Probably he was a… what did they call it? A top. He couldn’t imagine Sneak liked to get penetrated much… He was so… cool and in-control all of the time. So smart, so calculated, so… ugh, perfect.

What if Sneak _did_ like to get penetrated by men? What if he liked a big, long, pulsating cock inside of him?

Dammit.         

Did that make Sneak more likely or less likely to ever want to sleep with him?

This was a confusing question that Tubaik didn’t feel like he could answer. He muddled it over while chewing on his lower lip. On the one hand, Tubaik _was_ a man. On the other, he didn’t have a cock.

He had never told Sneak. He had never told anyone really – there were a few doctors in the galaxy who knew, but they were trustworthy… he didn’t want people to know. He didn’t want people to know about his genitals, he didn’t want people asking inane questions like, “What do your parents think? Did you have a hard childhood? What’s your real first name? Are you going to get the surgery done? Why not? Don’t you feel like you’re in the wrong body? Do you really think you’re _really_ trans if you _like_ putting toys in your vagina? Aren’t you just a confused woman?”

(The answers to which were: 1. They don’t know. 2. Yes, I had a hard childhood. 3. My name’s always been Tubaik, my people use gender neutral names. 4. I don’t want that surgery, I like how my genitals feel and how they make me feel, thank you very much. 5. I liked my body just fine as soon as I started living as a man. 6. Where I like to put sex toys doesn’t really seem like your business, and 7. Shut up.)

He was lucky, he knew, that his species was rare. His people could tell based on his scent. But they were few and far between, particularly these days. It was easy to avoid them. And even other species with acute senses of smell, Togorians and the like, couldn’t tell. They just thought he smelled like a rare, unknown species.

He had frequently had little fantasies where Sneak, finding out about his genitals, became immediately and insanely turned on and just _needed_ to vape him. That Sneak’s desire for pussy was larger than his desire for women. These fantasies, while lots of fun in the moment, did make him feel a little strange once they were over. A bit hollow and cold. He didn’t think it would be that good, really, to be with someone who liked him _just_ because of his genitals. He also didn’t think it would be very good to be with someone who liked him _in spite_ of his genitals. And that was the problem – Tubaik had a hard time imagining ever ending up with someone, _anyone_ , who would be with him and love all of him.

He was extremely, exceptionally lonely. And frightened, and confused. He felt like a child.

Still, he had such high hopes for that woman, Cinnamon Rex. She was pretty. But more importantly, she had a slightly-deeper-than-average voice and a slightly-larger-than-average Adam’s apple. Signs of a human transwoman. Tubaik had been thinking that recently – that maybe the best thing to do would be to find someone who also just _happened_ to be trans, and then that person, whoever they were, couldn’t mind _his_ genitalia, right?

Maybe she would be the one. Maybe it would work out. Maybe. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

\--         

“I usually don’t do this kind of thing,” Lavali sighed, grabbing her underwear and sliding them on.

Sneak grunted behind her, resting his head on his hands.

“I do,” he said, wondering where his cigarettes were. And how Tubaik was doing. He had been pretty quiet after that disastrous date. He had gotten kissed, though. That was important to him.  

Lavali sighed.

“Yes, I figured that you weren’t a stranger to the one-night stand.”

“Well, did you enjoy yourself?” Sneak asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

“I did,” she said thoughtfully. “Did you? Was I… ok?”

“You were great, love,” Sneak lied easily. She hadn’t been great. Describing her as a “good” lay would be charitable. Nervous, overly gentle, fumbling. That kind of thing tended to be intoxicating when you were with someone you really cared about or admired. _Oh my, I’m making so-and-so nervous, I must really matter to them, is it possible?!, is it possible?!, how exciting!_ But the same fumbling that could be so spine-chillingly _good_ with the right people could be beyond irritating with the wrong people. Sneak didn’t give a flying kriff what Lavali thought about him.

She was cute enough, though. Nice. She’d find someone. And then she could have all the awkward, fumbling, emotionally rewarding sex she wanted.

He thought that was how Tubaik would be in bed. Fumbling and nervous. He got nervous on _dinner dates._ He deserved someone… sweet. Not someone like him, he thought moodily, his stomach clenching up uncomfortably.

“I don’t have a lot of experience,” Lavali babbled nervously, putting on the rest of her clothes. No shit, Sneak thought to himself. “I don’t date much…”

“No one special?” Sneak asked lazily, still looking at the ceiling and trying to unclench his stomach.

“No. Well…”

“Hmmm?”

“Sometimes I think that one of my investors might… well, feel something. He’s a new investor, though, and I don’t want to mess anything up with the business… But he’s awfully nice…”

“You should ask him out,” Sneak said after a moment. “If you wait too long, you’ll never feel able to.”

“You think?” Lavali asked.

“Yes,” Sneak said, closing his eyes, and wishing he didn’t feel so much pain. “It’ll get too awkward if you don’t act quickly, and then it’ll be too late.” Emotional pain was so much more difficult than physical pain.

“Maybe I will,” Lavali said, shrugging and grabbing her purse. She hesitated by the door. “Thanks, Sneak.”

“Don’t mention it,” he mumbled, turning over in the hotel bed, wishing he was with Tubaik.


	3. It was a punch, basically

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how many times do you think I listened to the sneak and tubaik kissing scene to try to transcript it perfectly?

“I am going to _gut_ Trystan Valentine,” Tubaik muttered moodily, sitting next to Sneak on their ship. He parked it a few clicks away from Flipnob’s Foundry, where it would be hard to see.

“Don’t do that,” Sneak warned, reaching up to scratch Tubaik behind his ear. “We need them alive for the bounty.” Tubaik loved it when Sneak scratched him behind his ears. So much so that he had to carefully monitor his breathing, so that he didn’t accidentally break out panting. That would be… unbearably embarrassing.

“Don’t touch me,” Tubaik snapped, and then wished he hadn’t as soon as Sneak quickly removed his hand. “Well, at least scratch behind the other ear as well,” he said, grumpily. “It feels so strange to just have one ear scratched.”

“Ok, buddy,” Sneak said soothingly, reaching over to scratch behind the other ear. “I know you’ve had a hard couple days.” As Tubaik parked the ship, Sneak stood up behind him and started gently scratching behind both of his ears at once. “This’ll all be over soon and then we can go home.”

“Hmm,” Tubaik grunted, his heart skipping a beat. He forced himself to take long breaths.

\--

Sneak placed the last explosive on the door of the Mynock and clapped his hands together. Good. That was done; he could hear Tubaik talking to the crew of the Mynock upstairs. Even better. They could finish up soon and get off of this garbage dump of a planet. He was sick of Phindar and its oppressive mugginess. It had only been a few days, but if _felt_ longer, much longer. Like months, even.

He heard a blaster go off. He heard a crash, looked up, and however improbably Tubaik was suddenly on top of him.

Kissing him.

Well. It didn’t really start as a kiss – it started with their heads colliding into each other in the general mouth region. It was a punch, basically, delivered by a mouth onto another mouth.

But Tubaik didn’t pull completely away from him.

And for a few seconds, they were really kissing. Softly. The crash had caused one of Sneak’s legs was pinned under him at an odd angle, and it smarted, but he didn’t dare move. Tubaik smelled salty – sweat, probably, Sneak thought woozily. His heart was beating very, very fast.

Finally, Tubaik seemed to realize what he was doing; Sneak could feel him start from on top of him. Maybe he hadn’t been entirely conscious that whole time, Sneak thought uneasily, feeling guilty and dirty. Tubaik pulled his head away from his, and they just… looked at each other. Tubaik was blushing, Sneak realized, which made him blush harder. Tubaik was breathing heavily – but he had just fallen out of a window, Sneak reminded himself, taking a deep breath and hoping it would slow down his heartbeat.

Tubaik rolled off of him and sat up, still blushing. Sneak sat up, untangling his leg from underneath him as he did so. He turned to face Tubaik.

Who looked… frightened. And embarrassed.

“Oh, I’m so s-sorry, I can’t…” Tubaik started haltingly. Why is _he_ apologizing? Sneak wondered.

“No, no, that’s…” Sneak said, swallowing hard. Tubaik looked so… upset. Was Tubaik _mad_ at him, for some reason? “It’s all right…”

“I just… I just didn’t even… I fell out of a window,” Tubaik gabbled. Sneak stared at him. He looked…well, flustered. “I’m so… I’m so sorry…”

“Yeah…” Sneak murmured unthinkingly, his stomach churning. All this apologizing almost made it sound like Tubaik had enjoyed what had just happened, as if _Tubaik_ was feeling guilty for not pulling away sooner.

“We just don’t have to talk about it ever again! It’s fine!” Tubaik said, sounding increasingly nervous.

“No, we…” Sneak said, trailing off. He didn’t know what to say.

“We’re… we’re still just… Sneak & Tubaik!” Tubaik said, quivering with nervousness. Sneak stared at him. Tubaik looked _so_ nervous. He looked… beautiful.

“Yeah…” Sneak murmured uncomfortably. The idea of going back to how they were before was… almost unbearable.

“…and that’s fine!” Tubaik continued, and Sneak realized with a shock that Tubaik wasn’t convincing Sneak that they could go back to normal, but was trying to convince _himself_ that everything would be fine.

“Yeah…” Sneak mumbled.

Sneak was no stranger to risks, but at that moment he took what felt like one of biggest risks of his life. He reached out and put a hand on Tubaik’s cheek. Tubaik shuddered when Sneak touched him, and inhaled sharply when Sneak started gently stroking Tubaik’s cheek with his thumb.

“Just…Sneak & Tubaik…” Sneak murmered. Tubaik blinked very fast.

“Just… Sneak & Tubaik…” Tubaik whispered, looking at him tentatively.

Sneak kissed him.


	4. Why would Phindar have good ice cream?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the emotional fallout continues...

Tubaik’s head was spinning. He felt light and heavy all at once. His heart was beating so hard it almost felt painful.

Sneak was a _very_ good kisser. Sneak’s right hand was still cupping Tubaik’s cheek, and the other snaked behind Tubaik’s head and started stroking the hair on the back of Tubaik’s neck with so much tenderness it made Tubaik gasp. He had _never_ been touched so tenderly before, he was sure of it… Sneak’s tongue slipped into Tubaik’s mouth and Tubaik moaned into the kiss.

A clattering of footsteps and incoherent shouting suddenly boomed out from above them. The sounds of what he was pretty sure was Leenik Geelo saying “I need a vacation from this vacation” carried down below them. And suddenly, the Mynock was departing.

Tubaik hesitated.

“They’re getting away,” he whispered to Sneak.

“It doesn’t matter,” Sneak murmured, starting to kiss his neck. Sneak’s voice was deeper and throatier than Tubaik had ever heard it before.

“You don’t want to get the bounty?” Tubaik whispered.

“No, no, it doesn’t matter…” Sneak started kissing him on the mouth again. Tubaik felt faint. Sneak was _never_ so cavalier about money. That meant… that meant… Tubaik, overwhelmed, moaned again and deepened the kiss.

Sneak started to pull Tubaik closer to him and, as part of that, placed a hand on one of Tubaik’s inner thighs.

Tubaik went cold.

His heart started beating faster, but shallower – he felt the world spinning around him. He had… well, forgotten wasn’t the right word, but he had… chose to ignore the fact of his… well his… body.

He pulled away.

“Tubaik?” Sneak breathed. “Are you OK?”

“I… I don’t…” Tubaik stuttered, “I think… I think… I think I should go. I don’t…”

“Oh,” Sneak said, and Tubaik could see his face pale in the moonlight. “I thought…”

“No, I… I don’t… I really… I really need to go…”

“Go where?” Sneak asked. “The… the ship? We only have the one speeder…”

“I’ll walk, I’ll walk,” Tubaik mumbled, standing up and brushing off his jeans. “Just go… you take the speeder, go to bed… I’ll see you tomorrow…”

And he walked as quickly as could away from Flipnob’s Foundry.

\--

Sneak, sitting in the kitchen of his ship, poured himself another measure of Whatever’s Clever and took a bite of chocolate ice cream. The ice cream on Phindar was surprisingly good. He tried to hold on to that fact to prevent other, more horrible thoughts from taking over his brain. Why would _Phindar_ have good ice cream? Nothing else on the planet was good…

Tubaik was back. He had heard him come in. He had been in his quarters for about an hour now, and hopefully didn’t plan to leave them until the morning. Sneak had originally planned to stay in his room all night and possibly forever, but after a while it felt as though the walls were closing in on him.

Sneak was mind-numbingly mad at himself. If he thought about it for too long, he started to tremble and thought about doing things like stabbing himself repeatedly with a kitchen knife. But then there was the possibility that Tubaik would find out tomorrow and then feel bad about it.

Sneak _knew._ Sneak _knew_ that Tubaik was sensitive, that he had been very upset over the whole Cinnamon—well, Tryst Valentine thing. Sneak knew that Tubaik was nervous about sex, knew he was vulnerable… and what did he do? Sneak made a _pass_ at him.

And upon further reflection, Tubaik had even encouraged them to stop before he finally pulled away. When those… those _assholes_ took the Mynock away, he had whispered that they should go after them. And what did he do? Thought it had just been… nerves or something.

Great, great, he thought to himself, irritably. Once again proving to the world and himself that he was a piece of shit that didn’t deserve anything. He stabbed the pint of ice cream with the spoon and took another gulp of Whatever’s Clever.

With every sip of the Whatever’s Clever, a small voice got a bit louder in his head. _He_ had _kissed back,_ the voice said. _He really had. Maybe he just was nervous about something, maybe you should try to talk to him…_

No, Sneak told that voice, drinking another sip of the liquor, paradoxically hoping it would quiet the small, insistent voice. He couldn’t go through that again. It was too painful. 

He had _really_ thought Tubaik had been into it, though. That’s what was so… devastating about this. It had felt _so_ good. Perfect.

Sneak had thought that… maybe… maybe it would have worked out.

Several hours later, Sneak woke up with a start. He had fallen asleep at the kitchen table. The lights were on. He looked around wildly, instinctively reaching towards his blaster.

Tubaik was standing in the doorway, holding an empty glass. He looked mortified.          

\--

“Sneak!” Tubaik said, taken aback. He blushed.

“Oh…” Sneak groaned, rubbing his eyes and looking at him. “I… thought you were sleeping…”

“I thought _you_ were sleeping…” Tubaik said, his stomach uncomfortably churning.

“Oh. Well, I was sleeping.”

“I thought you were sleeping in your room…” Tubaik said, trailing off.

Sneak stared at him for a while, and Tubaik’s heart skipped a beat.

“You came for water?” Sneak asked hoarsely, nodding towards the cup in Tubaik’s hand.

“Oh… yes,” Tubaik said, feeling foolish.

“Go ahead,” Sneak said, leaning back in his chair. “Don’t let me stop you.”

Tubaik awkwardly made his way to the sink. He crashed into one of the chairs around the table which made a horrible scratching noise against the floor. It sounded horrible in the silence. Smooth, Tubaik thought to himself glumy.

“Look, I’m sorry, Tubaik,” Sneak muttered as Tubaik filled up his water glass. Tubaik started around, accidentally spraying some of the water on the floor.

“What?” Tubaik asked, setting down the glass and turning off the tap. He awkwardly wiped his hand on his jeans. “What are _you_ sorry about?”

Sneak stared at him blankly.

“I’m sorry if I pushed you… into something you didn’t want to do.”

“Oh…” Tubaik said, trailing off.

“You… you said you wanted to go after them, and I sort of said, no, let’s not, and I… I mean, you were trying to get me to… stop, right?”

“Well… well…” Tubaik said, blinking. It _would_ be the easiest, safest thing, he thought. Just say it was all a big misunderstanding and… and…

“No,” he said finally. “I… didn’t want to stop. I just thought you would want to know that they had gone… I thought… maybe you would want to go after them…”

“Oh,” Sneak said, still staring at him. It was hard to make out his expression.

“I liked kissing you,” Tubaik said dully, nervously. It felt like his voice was coming from far away, from somewhere outside of him. “Did… did you like it?”

“Yeah, I really liked it…” Sneak said, “but you… I mean, you left…”

“I got nervous…”

“Oh.” Sneak stared at him, looking like he was deciding something.

“I know I screw around, Tubaik,” Sneak said, anxiously, “but I wouldn’t screw around with you. Ever.” Sneak looked at him desperately. “I… care about you, Tubaik…”

Tubaik opened his mouth, and then shut it again. He swallowed. He took a sip of water.

“I’m…” Tubaik started, and then trailed off.

“It’s okay if you don’t… you know. Feel the same. Or if you… you know, think you want someone a bit… kinder, or you know. We can still work together…”

“Someone kinder?” Tubaik interrupted him, mystified.

“Yeah…” Sneak trailed off. “I always thought you would be good with someone really… nice to you… someone… better than me…”

“What? But _you’re_ nice to me.”

Sneak didn’t have an answer to that. He just kind of half-shrugged, staring desperately at Tubaik.

“You think… you think _I’m_ too good for _you_?” Tubaik said incredulously. “You’re… well, _Sneak._ ”

“You’re Tubaik!” Sneak said. “I mean… you know. You’re…”

Sneak had never looked this nervous in front of Tubaik before. Never. They’d been close to death countless times, they’d been marooned… Tubaik licked his lips.

“I like you, Sneak” Tubaik said, feeling dreadful and giddy at the same time. He was going to do it. He was going to tell him. It was now or never. “I have feelings for you…” He saw Sneak’s face break into relief and his stomach churned. “I’m trans,” he said quickly. “I don’t have… you know. A penis. I have… the other thing. A cunt.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was going to KEEP WRITING about these two fools but then I thought.... no. Maybe later. If it gets more than 2 kudos. That's the threshold.

 Sneak blinked. He wasn’t expecting that.

“I… I didn’t know…” Sneak stammered.

“I know.” Tubaik said, looking away. “I don’t like to talk about it.”

Sneak stood up from his seat quickly. He was still a few feet away from Tubaik, he wasn’t sure if it would be right to go closer to him. He knew what he was about to say next was incredibly important. He wanted to respond the right way, to be… kind…

“Um, that’s… that’s cool…” Sneak blurted out, and was immediately horrified with himself. Cool? _That’s_ how he responded? Great.

“…Cool?” Tubaik said, and to Sneak’s relief he didn’t look upset, he looked… relieved. And a bit shell-shocked, to be honest.

“I mean it’s… it’s fine. Eh… good. It’s… it’s not a problem…” Sneak said quickly. “Just… tell me what you like, and I’ll… I’ll do it.”

Tubaik looked at him a little uncertainly.

“I mean… I don’t know what you like, I’ve heard some transmen with, eh, vaginas, don’t like to have sex the normal way. Not, _normal_ , I don’t mean that…I just… I mean…” Sneak said, a palpable sense of panic rising in his chest.

“Where did you hear that?” Tubaik asked haltingly. “That...people like me don’t like to have, um, penis-in-vagina sex?”

“I… I don’t know, around? Pornographic holovids? The internet?”

“Do you think it would be weird if I did want to… do that?”

Sneak felt like the conversation was getting away from him. “Why would I… ? I mean, I _like_ doing that…”

“Do you think it makes me… less of a man?”

“Oh,” Sneak said, surprised. “No.” 

Tubaik stared at him. He looked like he was mulling something over.

 _What am I supposed to do now?_ , Sneak wondered. Go over to him? Kiss him? Tell him I love him?

Tubaik reached out towards Sneak. Sneak froze, not sure what was happening, but Tubaik’s hand went past him and grabbed the bottle of Whatever’s Clever on the table.

“Come on, Sneak,” Tubaik said, his voice soft. He grabbed Sneak’s hand with his other hand. “Let’s go to bed.”

And Tubaik led Sneak back to his bedroom, Sneak grinning like a schoolboy.

\--

Two weeks later, a very handsome blond man was angrily knocking on a door to an apartment in a middle-class district in Coruscant.

The door swung open; Blasa stood in the doorway. She was wearing glasses and her hair was tied back in a braid.

“Shnell?” she asked. “What’s wrong?”

“You owe me a Finder’s Fee, that’s what.” Shnell snapped. “He cancelled. Indefinitely.”

“Sneak did?” Blasa whispered, looking over Shnell’s shoulder to make sure no passerby’s could overhear.

“Yes. He’s in some kind of _relationship._ Honestly, Blasa, that was a _big_ Finder’s Fee for me… I could _really_ use a good client.”

“Well, that’s always a risk, isn’t it?” Blasa said, defensively. “You can’t force people to see you!”

“Blasa! You _gave me_ the contact a week ago! I’ve _never_ seen him! Not even for a consult!”

“All right, all right,” Blasa said, sighing. “Give me a minute, I’ll get my card…”

Turning away from Shnell in the doorway, she allowed a small smile to creep across her face. _Good on you, Sneak_ , she thought as she grabbed her purse.

            --

Sneak’s datapad buzzed in his pocket. He grunted and pulled it out, taking a swig of coffee as he did so. Tubaik sat across the table from him, frowning at the word puzzle on his datapad that he did every morning.

“Who’s that?” Tubaik asked, glancing up.

“Blasa…” Sneak said, opening the text message.

Tubaik stiffened up slightly, an old habit.

“Blasa?” he asked, endeavoring to sound casual and glumly aware that he was failing. “What does she want?”

“Money, probably,” Sneak said, typing something furiously into the datapad. It buzzed again as a reply from Blasa came quickly back. Sneak snorted. “She’s got gumption…” he grumbled, grinning slightly.

Tubaik frowned at him.

Sneak caught his eye and his expression softened.

“You know I told you that she would… well, tie me up? And that I told her about how I felt about you?”

“Yes,” Tubaik said. As if he could forget.

“She’s offering to teach you… that sort of thing. Couples counseling, she’s calling it.” Sneak sounded nonchalant, but Tubaik noticed that the tops of his ears were turning red. Tubaik felt… touched. Blasa still occasionally texted Sneak, which had initially enraged and terrified Tubaik. That and Sneak’s checkered past. But after a while, and some uncomfortable emotional talks, Tubaik started to realize the stupid memes and emojis Blasa sent Sneak weren’t a threat to him. He had started to realize that Blasa was kind of a friend to Sneak – even with the payment, the sex, the bondage – she was kind of a friend. And Sneak didn’t have many friends. And she was reaching out to Tubaik, in a way. An olive branch. Wanting to be involved in both of their lives. Well, if they paid her, sure, but that was pretty much the Sneak & Tubaik way.

Learning how to tie Sneak up wouldn’t hurt either. Tubaik was always too gentle with him, he could tell, but Tubaik worried about hurting him.

Tubaik shrugged.

“What the hell,” he said. “OK. Set it up.”


End file.
